The Splendour and Wonder of Courtesans — Why I am Becoming Anna

It is essential for me to be able to bring Anna to life, alongside my official work as an artist. The two are intimately linked, even though I take care to draw a distinction and ensure that the two worlds do not overlap – yes, this will come as no surprise to you, I love multiple identities and masks; it’s my superheroine side – I also love sexy costumes, by the way: catsuits and vinyl thigh-highs, vintage outfits and latex lingerie… But let’s get back to the topic at hand!

When I entered the professional world, I very quickly realised that, in my career as a dancer, it wouldn’t just be discipline, research and creativity that would be required, but also a whole other side that’s far less pleasant – and which has absolutely nothing to do with art – namely networking, or, to put it another way, seduction: pleasing people, ensuring that those in positions of power within my field decide whether or not to give me work. The equivalent of courtiers at the king’s court, in a way, I thought, as I watched my colleagues at auditions or premiere receptions bowing and scraping before theatre directors and choreographers. Yet I have never liked kneeling to those in power, and no doubt precisely because I detest it, I do not excel at this game. In real life, I don’t like pretence or power games. I only like them on stage; I only like them in Shakespeare’s plays. I hate feigning. I don’t know how to lie. I take no pleasure in rivalry. I loathe being pitted against others. I’m not interested in issues of ambition or domination, and I don’t want to have to worry about that sort of dynamic in my artistic practice. I prefer to be straightforward; I prefer what is frank, direct and sincere.
But what I hate above all else, I think, is that hypocritical game: seducing while pretending that’s not what you’re doing.
Frankly, I told myself, if I have to court someone, I might as well do it for real; it’s more honest and it’s more fun. I’m going to become a courtesan, but in the noble sense of the word, in the grand tradition: a powerful and free woman, the opposite of someone who bows to obtain favours – a courtesan might kneel to grant them, but only if she chooses to, and that’s precisely the difference.

And that’s how I ended up sucking cocks for real instead of licking arses for show – and vice versa.

The advantage is that whilst I don’t like flattery, I do like sex. Whilst I dislike having to convince people who don’t convince me, I do enjoy intense encounters with strangers who don’t remain strangers for long. I love this direct access to the intimate realm of someone other than myself, which for me embodies authenticity in its purest form. I love giving and receiving pleasure. I love reciprocity. In other words, I prefer horizontality to verticality.
And whilst soliciting as an artist is absolutely unbearable to me, meeting people who appreciate me for what I reveal of my sensibility, for the texts I write, for the eroticism I portray through my photos, and who thank me by spoiling me for it – that makes sense and I enjoy it. It’s shared generosity. An exchange of joy and pleasure. No one has to bow down. Whereas artistic hustling leaves me with a nasty aftertaste, Anna’s encounters restore my faith in life, because they bring me closer to the very best in humanity—that which shines deep within, that which is usually so well hidden—rather than presenting me with puppets playing their little roles poorly, for the most part, in our little society. I share special moments rather than having to struggle to interact with masks. And isn’t that, ultimately, the very thing I’m seeking as an artist? To touch the heart of humanity?

It is, therefore, a balance I found a long time ago, placing me in the tradition of our glorious predecessors. Indeed, from the hetaerae of antiquity to the courtesans of the 19th century, from geishas to devadasis, I am neither the first nor the last to practise these two professions in parallel, each nourishing the other, in both a prosaic and a metaphorical sense.
Becoming Anna is a way of pursuing my artistic path with integrity. I am privileged not to have to make any compromises. As a performer, I do not need to accept projects simply because they are lucrative. I’m not on the lookout; I simply wait patiently for the seasons to fill up. As a creator, I can do what I want, how I want, knowing that I can earn money on the side, without having to seek validation from my peers, whom I pay little heed to. This gives me great freedom. Think of yourselves as my patrons, in a way!
Because in art, as in bed, as in life, my only compass is my intuition and my sensitivity. I don’t want what I create to be dependent on other people’s desires or fleeting fashions. It’s me. It’s unique. It’s true and whole. Anna allows me to hold this line.
She also allows me to gain a healthy sense of perspective on the art world. I’ve always enjoyed moving between different circles, existing between microcosms, being both here and there, belonging to nothing and no one, and always having the option to step aside and escape. That’s how you shake off the blinkers you wear without even realising it when you read the world from just one angle. I firmly believe that stepping slightly aside, choosing to take several paths at once, makes me stronger, more perceptive and freer.
At last, I can give free rein to my adventurous side, satisfy my need for parallel lives. After all, am I not seeking the same thing as an artist and as a courtesan – I who am not entirely satisfied with the flatness of reality and have a constant need for elsewhere? I escape into my adventures for a reason quite similar to why I take to the stage: to invent a parallel life, to put myself in play, to give depth to existence, to escape the contingencies of our human condition – it’s so powerful, and that’s what I invite you to do with me if you’ll join me! A secret agent on the trail of pleasure, an expert in leading a double life, Anna grants me the right to live more intensely in a realm of unreality that is terribly real, even surreal. And it goes without saying that my imagination and my work as an artist are only nourished by it all the more.

To tell the truth, up until now, I’ve always had enough work as an artist to make a living and feel fulfilled – touch wood. Work has always come to me. But perhaps it’s precisely because, thanks to Anna, I can afford not to go looking for it.
I don’t need Anna to make a living, but I do need Anna to live! More than a financial necessity, Anna is a source of support and stability, an emotional and life equilibrium. And it’s also because I’m privileged enough not to depend on her that I can give free rein to this kind of gift I have – the gift of listening, of sharing and of sensuality – by choosing to meet only those rare, good people who will nurture me and to whom, in return, I’ll do the same. And last but not least, I think I love deeply being one of the women of ill repute, this international ‘Girls Gang’ of incendiary beauties. Sticking to the straight and narrow has never been my thing.
In conclusion? Long live the splendour and joy of courtesans!